And no I don’t want to talk about it.
Unfortunately, the details of our breakup are going to remain a mystery… sorry guys [I’m not really sorry].
So I’m single again; at first I was sad but now I’m just angry. I’m angry because when I met “Southern Gentleman” I had absolutely no desire to enter into a relationship. But, he did and said all the right things and I felt safe opening my heart to him – and I did. He then proceeded to stomp on it… unintentionally of course, but nonetheless – he did in fact STOMP on it.
And now I’m back where I started 8 months ago: confused, a little bitter, angry, have new issues to replace the old ones, and irritated [in general] by the opposite sex. Recovering from this relationship will take some time; But in the meantime… I’m miserable.
But I don’t hate him; in fact I still care about him a great deal. I know he never intended to hurt me and I know he would have done anything to make our relationship work, and I know he loved me. We just weren’t a good fit for each other.
Not seeing him or talking to him has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.
Although – I’m electing not to share the details – please know that he is a good man that inadvertently hurt me A LOT. He was great to me but as time revealed he was not great for me – and vice versa. I really wish that things could be different between us but I know that it was best for us to part ways. I think about him a lot, and I miss seeing him; but I know that I need to move on even though I can see that will be an incredibly difficult task.
My friends who know the details don’t seem to understand why I’m hanging on. The truth of the matter is – nobody knows how I feel or what I’m going through except me. And nobody knows how great he was to me – amidst all of his “stuff” – and how well he treated me. And NO one can understand what it’s like to finally receive all the things you’ve been looking for in a relationship, and to be with someone who allows you to be yourself, and then walk away. I think leaving someone who gives 70% of what you need – would be hard for anyone.
So, I’m going out tonight – and I have no interest in meeting anyone. I’m just going to hang out with my Sis, have some sushi and more than likely get wasted.
The post following our outing should be interesting.
